Things I’ve learned from the Rambo movie series
– a bullet to any part of the enemy body causes instant death
– a knife to any part of the enemy body causes instant death
– an arrow to any part of the enemy body causes instant death
– mortars fired at heroes do not cause concussive vibrations only smoke and dirt scatterings
– you will survive ANY bodily injury if your name is in the title
– local cops and military can not work together
– if you are are a decorated war hero you can get a “get out of jail free” card if you sign on to a black op mission.
– foreign enemy captors care about your modesty and will not torture you naked.
– American captors don’t care if you’re naked or not.
– a hot girl can walk into a secret camp with no questions asked
– if you have enough muscles (and your name is in the title) you can survive full body electrocution.
– Russian Officers slip into German accents when torturing a hero.
– active grenades can be held indefinitely if your name is in the title.
– jungles across the globe all look like South and Central American rain forests
– helicopters can use spotlights to see through the thick jungle canopy
– yelling makes bullets more accurate.
– enemies forget to yell while shooting so they miss often
– all grass huts are filled with explosive materials that result in fiery explosions
– all rope bridges are explosive as well
– all it takes to go unnoticed in a plane it to paint it black.
– smoke will billow from random pipes when a helicopter is shot.
– coca cola machines are Everywhere. Even in secret government/temporary mercenary camps.
– removing your shirt makes you immune from enemy gun fire
– Stallone created the “Action Mullet”
– to find inner-peace you fight in pit fights in Thailand.
Late To The Game 9/13/17