Enterprise finally makes it to Risa…only things don’t turn out as well as they planned. Originally broadcast on May 15, 2002 this is Two Days and Two Nights.
The Episode:
Captain’s Log Date Feb 18, 2152

Making it to Risa, the crew only has two days to take advantage of shore leave and so begin drawing lots to see who misses out. Of the senior staff, Archer, Mayweather, Reed, Tucker and Hoshi make the cut and begin their individual endeavors as soon as they land on the planet. As some of the crew enjoy down time, Doctor Phlox begins his annual hibernation with strict orders to wake him should the need arise.
What follows is a series of misadventures for the various groups. Tucker and Reed find themselves victims of a mugging and soon find themselves stripped and trapped in someone’s basement, Mayweather has an accident rock climbing and is brought back to the ship to be treated by a groggy Dr Phlox, while Hoshi has a delightful time learning new languages and finding some ‘down time’ in the process. It is Archers experience that starts off pleasant but soon takes a turn for the worse when he meets up with a woman named Keyla who seems to take a liking to him. He soon discovers that she is actually a Tandaran agent sent to gather information from him and, upon his learning this knocks him out and disappears.
The next day the group return home all worse for wear with the exception of Hoshi who keeps what happened to her to herself.
Is this a ‘Good’ Episode:
I understand what they were trying to do on this one but, honestly, it just doesn’t work. Overall this episode feels like a compilation of B stories that they just couldn’t find places for so they piled them into one episode because, why not? Now, don’t get me wrong, the individual stories are not bad but, outside of the really great setup for an enemy that never goes anywhere, this just feels like a budget episode that was made to fill in space.

Wait a minute? Enemy setup? did I miss something? Yeah. It’s kindof a blink and you miss it thing. You know that whole Archer falling for some rando lady with a dog, yeah, she was a member of the Tandarans who captured him and Mayweather back in the episode Detained. So, they are still very much interested in him and his knowledge of the Suliban but once she leaves, well, we never see or hear from the Tandarans ever again. In fact, we don’t even know if they found out anything useful or really what they were after besides trying to subjugate them all. The thing that bothers me about the really bad copy of the STNG Captain’s Holiday story is the fact that the woman who is clearly an ‘Alien’ (aka she has spots) happens to have a dog. A FREAKIN DOG. Not a strange alien dog, not a dog with a horn like in the original series, no, just a dog. So, for some reason this doesn’t raise any red flags for Archer in any way form or fashion? Huh? Is Earths primary export dogs now, or are the K9 species more widespread than we knew? Are dogs in fact an alien species themselves?! Who knows, we never will because we never see her or her dog again….or her species for that matter.

I wish I could say the other stores were interesting but the ‘Reed and Tucker get kidnapped because they were horney’ story was rather…icky? I mean, there was even a moment where they mention that they were not sure about a certain species because they might not be female. It seemed a little cringey for a Star Trek series, but then again, I have to remember that this is the early days of Human’s in space so… maybe they aren’t as enlightened yet. Then there is the ‘how Hoshi get’s her groove back’ story where Hoshi learns more than just language from one of the locals. It was fun but, honestly, very out of place reminding me of more of a sex starved Riker tale than one that I would expect from Hoshi.

The only halfway interesting story is that of Phlox and his need to hibernate, which would have been a great B story in really any other episode and was really completely wasted in this one. John Billingsley is hilarious in every way in his scenes making for some of the best moments in the episode. Imagine had they used this part of his nature at an inopportune moment, like Phlox has been putting it off because he doesn’t want to disappoint his Captain and has to hibernate just when something big happens. Yeah, could have been pretty great.
Overall, this is a rather disappointing episode that was built up over three episodes and amounted to nothing, at all. Well, not nothing, just a series of crappy adventures that literally go no where after this episode in any way form or fashion. My advice, just skip it, you really wont miss much.
Gleanings and Cool Bits:

- We do get to see Ensign Cutler again! Good to see her!
- This one was also directed by Michael Dorn. He did a great job with what he had but I really wish he had had a better story to work with.
- Hoshi had some ‘fun’ with an alien but it appears she never got the clearance from the ships doctor as he was hibernating. Interesting how she didn’t catch some alien herpes like Trip did.
- We never see nor hear from the Tandarans again, although they seemed to be very interested in Enterprise.
- Archer apparently never reports the fact that he was attacked by a Tandaran agent….was he embarrassed?
- Also, two aliens stole Starfleet technology from Trip and Reed, yet they don’t say anything? So, what kind of security officer is Reed anyway?
Thanks for reading the Retro TV Review, I look forward to discussing the rest of the series with you, one episode at a time every Monday, Wednesday and Friday! Next Review: Shockwave
more reviews I have a weekly series called Key Movies Of My Life that comes out every Thursday and for more retro TV goodness check out the rest of the Retro TV Reviews here.
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Late To The Game 6/18/2021

Special Thanks to Memory Alpha as they are one of the best sources for details on Star Trek information available. Although I have a pretty deep knowledge on the subject, they have proven invaluable as a regular resource.
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