Tucker snoops and finds something unexpected.  Originally broadcast on December 11, 2020, this is Precious Cargo.

The Episode:

Captain’s Log Date September 12, 2152

Enterprise responds to a distress call from a freighter who’s pilots claim to be transporting a woman in stasis to her home world.  As Archer and T’Pol are dining with the crew of the small freighter, Tucker finds the cargo they are carrying is in fact a Monarch named Kaitaama who claims she has been kidnapped and is waiting for her people to pay the ransom.  One of the aliens, Goff, manages to leave Enterprise aboard his ship leaving his partner, Plinn, behind but with Tucker and Kaitaama in their cargo hold.  

Tucker and Kaitaama manage to steal an escape pod and crash land on a nearby planet while Enterprise interrogates Plinn and attempts to find their missing crewmember.   On the planet (which kinda looks like Dagobah), Tucker and Kaitaama fight one another until they end up kissing and, once again, Tucker has relations with an alien without permission from his Chief Medical Officer.  

In the end they manage to set a trap for Goff who is soon knocked out by Kaitaama and Enterprise arrives to take the Monarch home.  Kaitaama, now smitten with Trip promises that, once she is made First Monarch of her people, she will be certain to ask him to come for a visit. 

Is this a ‘Good’ Episode:

Wow…so this is basically a rehash of Perfect Mate from STNG but instead of Picard finding true love, Tripp gets a royal booty call.  Seriously, this is basically the entire gist of the story and it doesn’t have any more depth than that. There is even the really strange bit where the aliens have a private meal with the Captain and T’Pol but it is abundantly clear these guys are some very fishy characters who are up to something.  I mean, come on Archer, you are surely not THIS stupid. Then there is the horndog that is Trip Tucker.  

Not only that, there is even a moment where Archer and T’Pol end up having some kind of bs tribunal court room moment to trick Prill into talking to them about his partner.  None of that scene makes any sense at all seeing that Prill’s partner just essentially kidnapped one of their crew and damaged Enterprise in the process.  Why they even go through with this is beyond me because surely there could have been a much less…dramatic way to go about it like, I don’t know, maybe tossing him into the brig or letting Dr Phlox give him some truth serum?  

I swear, you would think this guy would learn not to sleep around after getting himself pregnant last season, but so far he has had several…encounters…since and sure enough he seems to have no issues having one this time either. By the time this guy gets home, he is going to have some serious medical issues if he keeps this kinda thing up and I doubt space herpes is not going to be the worst of it.

Overall this is a pretty terrible episode and one that should probably be skipped at all costs.  Just move along and don’t bother with it. It’s bad.  

Gleanings and Cool Bits:

  • We never hear from Kaitaama again but apparently she is from the same area as Kamala from Perfect Mate and even has the spots on her head as well, so…this is sort of a prequel to that episode in a way?
  • One interesting bit,  we get a good view of the Universal Translator as it attaches to the Communicator.  Pretty cool. 
  • We never see the Retellian traders or their people again.

Thanks for reading the Retro TV Review,  I look forward to discussing the rest of the series with you, one episode at a time every Monday, Wednesday and Friday!  Next Review: The Catwalk

more reviews I have a weekly series called Key Movies Of My Life that comes out every Thursday and for more retro TV goodness check out the rest of the Retro TV Reviews here.

As always, please feel free to comment below and share your experiences with these episodes as well. If you just happened by, tell me what you think! Don’t Forget To Follow me if you like the blog!

Late To The Game 7/16/2021

The USS Grouch on it’s maiden voyage. It was known as the trashiest ship in the fleet.

Special Thanks to Memory Alpha as they are one of the best sources for details on Star Trek information available.  Although I have a pretty deep knowledge on the subject, they have proven invaluable as a regular resource.

Star Trek and all related marks, logos and characters are solely owned by CBS Studios Inc. This fan production is not endorsed by, sponsored by, nor affiliated with CBS, Paramount Pictures, or any other Star Trek franchise, and is a non-commercial fan-made production intended for recreational use.  No commercial exhibition or distribution is permitted. No alleged independent rights will be asserted against CBS or Paramount Pictures.”

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